2nd December - 🚩 Is THIS 'cheating'? 👀

I was scrolling through TikTok late last night, and saw a video which awakened something in my soul. The video in question was from a relationship expert, who warned that there is ONE unforgivable trait which should also serve as a massive red flag when viewing a potential partner, and it was this... If you date someone, and then break up with them, but then engage in sexual relations with one of their friends after the break-up. This is perhaps a debatable subject, as many will argue that once a relationship is over, you are both free to do what, and who, you want. However, the psychology of such scumbag behaviour runs deeper...

Let's use a fictional case study. Ruth dates Jamie. Jamie is friends with Graham. When Ruth and Jamie split, Graham starts trying to get into Ruth's pants. Of course he does. He's a man. He's psychologically hard-wired to chase any available vaginas in his close proximity. However, a man with morals would allow his mindset to trump the desires of his penis, realising that it is wrong to chase Ruth's vagina, and that he should look for literally any other vagina on Planet Earth. Why? Well there are a myriad of reasons, but let's start with the obvious. 'Out of sight, out of mind'... Just because Jamie is no longer around, what about Graham's loyalty to him as a friend? By chasing Ruth, Graham shows that he has zero loyalty towards his chum, which in itself is a huge red flag. Those with no loyalty in friendships, will also display no loyalty in relationships. 

Now let's look at Ruth's mindset. If Graham has been sniffing around her like a diseased dog during her relationship with Jamie, of course it is disrespectful. But by allowing Graham to conquer her, the moment Jamie is out of the picture, Ruth has showed that she has no respect for herself, and has caved into Graham, which - given the literal millions of alternative penises she could have chosen on Planet Earth - displays a real air of desperation, and 'easiness'. Before the feminists jump on my back, this isn't 'slut shaming', I'm a big fan of sexual openness in the World. If you're single, go and shag who you want, when you want, fill your boots! Or in this case, your vagina. But maybe just pick somebody other than your ex's 'friend'? I use 'friend' very loosely, as clearly this friendship is as fragile as a stack of Pringles in a tornado. 

By exhibiting these behaviours, both Ruth and Graham display a lack of integrity, moral compass, self-respect, and loyalty. Their greed for lust is also an indication of a completely void level of self-control or resistance. Once Graham has achieved his goal, and infected Ruth with his muck, his interest level will naturally drop off, and Ruth is left to realise that the internal validation and 'love' she hoped would amount from such an encounter, doesn't exist. Her self-loathing, however, has increased ten-fold. Overall, I agree with the (somewhat controversial) video. When seeking a long-term partner, loyalty, integrity, and moral compass, are all key indicators in how long and ultimately successful your relationship will prove to be. Those devoid of those characteristics cannot wish to find eternal happiness on account of their own shortcomings. Despite Ruth being single in this scenario, her interaction with Graham is, in the eyes of many, still a form of 'cheating'. But what do YOU think? Entering/being entered by, the friend of an ex, is severely frowned upon.... 

... But does it - as TikTok suggested - class as 'cheating'? 🤔