23rd October - The secret to great relationships


I've been a big fan of Paul C Brunson for a while now, and his musings on life, but particularly, on relationships. For those unaware of Paul, the Jamaica-born business entrepreneur is the world's leading professional matchmaker, an internationally recognised expert in interpersonal relationships, and personal development. He spoke, this week, via my favourite podcast, on all his tips and tricks for a successful relationship, with a few real nuggets of insight. Perhaps his first, was one that I was already familiar with... That communication is the key to any great relationship. This is the same reason why, if I'm busy and my partner texts me, I'll never ignore it until I'm free. I'll message quickly to mention that I'm busy now, but will reply later. Just a small message like that can eradicate so much doubt or overthinking on the other person's behalf.



Paul also mentioned that modern dating has been ruined by apps like Tinder, where Women are seen as this valuable 'jewel', which 10,000 men are 'bidding' for. Any man, even the most aesthetically pleasing, will may have 3-5, or a very maximum of 8-10, girls in his DMs/conversations at any one time, and that's an absolute maximum. But these apps have made Women the gender of value, and each girl will amass thousands of matches, and DMs per day. To use the dartboard analogy, a single woman's WhatsApp is full of hundreds of messages from fellas trying to leave their prick on the dartboard. "If you have 10,000 options, you'll often bypass 3 of the best, because of the choice available", Paul argued, adding that he'd like to invent an app where you only get 3 choices per week, much like how his own Grandfather found his Grandmother on a tiny island near Jamaica, where there were only 3 single women on the whole island at the time.

But perhaps his shiniest nugget was the idea that what men truly seek, is the female equivalent of themselves, jokingly describing a guy's ideal type as 'a mirror reflection of himself, but with a vagina'. Paul stated that the failure of any relationship is usually down to the behaviour of one half of the partnership which doesn't mirror the other half's personality type. For example, they cheated but you don't agree with cheating. They drink too much alcohol but you don't enjoy drinking. They pile on heaps of weight but you're a fitness freak. etc etc. Paul said that for a relationship to work, you both have to be the mirror of each other, but with different genitals (or even the same genitals, if that's your thing, #NoHomo). But having that initial 'mirror' of yourself...




... Is the secret to any great relationship.


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