24th August - Can you be Funny AND Sexy?

This is a question which has troubled generations for some time now, and though there can be no conclusive evidence - as, after all, each soul is different - what we can safely assume is that whilst being funny is an attractive characteristic, it is not usually a personality trait designed to seduce. To make somebody laugh, will naturally grow their affinity towards you, it’s a basic of human psychology… People like to be surrounded by others who make them feel good. But how many comedians can you name who are certified pussy magnets? Ricky Gervais? Peter Kay? Michael McIntyre? Lee Evans? Alan Carr? They don’t exactly scream ‘Mr Grey’, do they?

The other misconception which is touted is that ‘women love a bad boy’. Again, this is true, but to an extent. Nobody wants to be stuck with a 7pm Emmerdale & Fish Pie followed by some vanilla missionary and a small cup of decaf tea (no caffeine after 5pm) kinda partner. And whilst many women will favour those with an ‘edge’ in their younger days, as they grow and look to start a family, many of the characteristics which ‘bad boys’ possess are no longer desirable. A basic and eloquent use of language, for example. The idea of visiting chavvy ‘Kieran’ doing his latest 30-day stint inside because of aggravated assault and affray when he insists ‘I didn’t do nuffink, the pigs have got it in for me’, doesn’t quite seem as desirable as potential father material as a driven, ambitious, and above all - educated - man with gentlemanly values, a strong moral compass, and the ability to succeed in business via life’s most basic skill: The ability to spell. Oh hiiiii. 

However, if that man then finishes work, and starts to put Emmerdale on and says he’s cooking the Fish Pie, his partner is likely to dry out faster than the toughest brand of Kitchen Roll, where even one sheet is plenty. To have that aforementioned ‘edge’, there needs to be an element of mystique, almost an element of ‘rudeness’ or ‘abrasiveness’. It’s the dominant ‘CEO’ mindset which drove so many starved housewives crazy when reading the - frankly, very poorly written - ‘Fifty Shades’ trilogy. You shouldn’t ask what is going to happen, nor should you request, you should TELL. Do Gervais, McIntyre or Carr scream ‘dominant’ to you? And as you answer that one, internally, you arrive at the intended conclusion to the question… “Can you be funny AND sexy?”. The answer, is absolutely. But not at the same time. Instead, they have to almost make up two sides of an alter-ego. If you can find someone who can switch effortlessly between them…

... Then you have everything you’ll ever need.