23rd July - Return of the Dog


It’s been a while since I’ve been ‘on the sesh’. Six and a half months to be precise. But today marks the official engagement party of partner and I, and we’re thrilled to welcome all of our closest friends to our home-City for an evening of antics. The plan is to kick things off in separate tribes, dependant on gender. If you identify as a cereal box, go home. Otherwise, it’s lads in O’Neills at 5pm, and ladies in a local cocktail bar at 6pm (technically, they’re meant to meet at 5pm too, but I know how long my fiancee takes getting ready, and if I were a betting man, I’d suggest there’s zero chance they’ll be leaving the house before 5.15pm).

I’m absolutely pumped for some testosterone and general silliness tbh. I’ve never had the opportunity to have my full ‘squad’ together all in one place, at one time… Never in my life. Mainly due to the fact my bestie works away in Qatar for the majority of the year and I’m lucky to catch him for 2 days out of every 365. But this time, he’s back, and I’m ready to go into full ‘Dog’ state. That nickname was one which was first coined around 2016… During the peak of my laddish-ness, and I’m not really sure how it managed to stick, but it did. Being ‘the Dog’ is so much more than an alter-ego. It’s a way of life. A transformative character who comes out when he simply must, to motivate and energise all those around him.




The Dog was last spotted in Oxford in January 2022, but has gone missing since then. Tomorrow, he’ll be in full hype-man mode, cracking jokes, and displaying the unrivalled wit which has endeared him to thousands of adorning fans throughout the generations. If it’s a bit of ‘oi oi saveloy’ you’re after, then for sure, this saveloy will be wagging excitedly tomorrow. I’m not quite sure what the plan is yet after both tribes meet for a Thai nosh-up (not a euphemism) between 7 and 9. Oxford sadly doesn’t possess any clubs (Well, not any worth visiting, anyway). But then again, not much of the U.K does. Especially now Printworks has closed. Regardless, come midnight tomorrow, there will be barking and howling down George Street and Cornmarket, and later on, in the early hours of the morning, perhaps The Dog will even show some style...




... IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, OIIII OIIII! 

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