18th June - Stag Scouting



I've got a very specific set of requirements in mind when it comes to my Stag party. Though the stereotypical idea - based on 'The Hangover' - is "Let's all go to Vegas", the reality is far from the fantasy. I've been to Las Vegas, and of course, it's a really cool place. But the club culture is far too 'Instagram' to really allow Stags to roam free in an environment where having fun is the priority. The glitz and glamour of Sin City nightlife is accompanied by expensive designer suits and dresses, roped off V.I.P areas and 'Greygoose Wankers'. Expensive bottle service, and hugely inflated entry costs for males (what happened to equality, guys?), on account of promoters wanting to lure hoards of women into their venue to make it look 'sexy'.

People take themselves too seriously in Vegas. It's all about that moody looking pout, and sneer at anyone willing to drop their ego enough to willingly make a fool of themselves. You can apply such sentiments to Dubai, and probably even Marbella, or anywhere else which would prove an appropriate home for a 'Love Island' villa. Throw in the elongated flight duration, and searing daytime heat, and Vegas is a no for me. As, of course, is England. If you're having your stag in Britain, then it's safe to say you've already given up on life. You're settling for the mediocrity of what your life will become. Birmingham's infamous 'Broad Street' or the row of bars leading down Bournemouth's Old Christchurch Road are just about bearable for a diluted birthday event you might force yourself to attend, grimacing throughout, but for a Stag? The one and only Stag party of your entire life? Fair enough if that floats your own personal boat, but for me, it serves as a representation of small mindset. 




In fact, please, a message to my best man (if he is reading), one who I've not yet officially anointed as speculation continues to mount over the appointment... Keep me as far away as possible from any 'club' which opens before midnight, sells alcopops, and/or plays any music by Usher, Flo Rida, Chris Brown, Doja Cat, Justin Bieber etc. What I seek, is dirt cheap beer, preferably served in giant steins, a flight less than 3 hours, and bustling Capital City with can also offer a touch of beauty, too (a river, cobbled streets, iconic landmarks etc). The results, keep delivering the same two destinations, head and shoulders above the rest. Though Dublin and Amsterdam provide great craic, and crack, respectively, their extortionate pricing can never compare to the pound-a-pint fun to be had in Prague, and/or Budapest. Whether glugging back Sambucas in a hummer, or smiling quietly and respectfully as the lads remark on the size of a local pair of Pavel Nedveds, the latter probably has it all. But how close to the Wedding should a stag be staged? There certainly needs to be a few month's grace, to prepare for any potential injuries...




... I guess that's something I'll need to Czech nearer the time.



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