30th May - I'm back!



With me, I bring a range of new developments into my life, which I didn't have before. Firstly, an elbow which I'm 99.9% sure is broken after I completely stacked it on the slippy concrete floor of a pool party, and also, 9 pounds of extra weight - confirmed by the scales - following a week at the swim-up bar and all-inclusive restaurant(s). Most mornings, I'd start the day with churros for breakfast, and in the space of a few hours either side of Coco Bongo, I consumed 24 inches of bread from the nearby 'Subway' store... I mean, what was I expecting? 

What else do I bring back? Sunburn? Most certainly. My red blistering skin was achieved by Day 2, and I was forced to spend the rest of the week in long-sleeves and hiding in the shaded area of the pool as I slathered on the aftersun like it was nobody's business. Turns out, Factor 30 really doesn't work for me, and so I was forced to upgrade to Factor 50, which was somewhat remarkably, charged at $25 per bottle in the local 'pharmacia'. They were asking for the same amount for paracetamol, and offering Snickers bars at the 'bargain' price of $3 each. Absolute pirates of the Caribbean. 




Of course, in my never-ending pursuit of Gable disaster-classes, I also enjoyed a trip to the local medical centre, where a doctor threw me onto a bed (okay, she didn't 'throw', nobody can 'throw' a 188cm man), and gave my right eye a thorough examination with her torch. The eye itself, had shrunk to half the normal size, and all 'whites' of my eyeball and turned a demonic red colour. My reasoning, was that I believed a contact lens to have been stuck in there for almost 2 days, and try as I might, I couldn't get it out.

We later learned that what had actually transpired was that my lens had accidentally fallen out in the pool party, and in my highly intoxicated state (later confirmed by copious amounts of vomit in our bathroom sink), I'd relentlessly scratched, pulled, and tugged at my eyeball trying to remove this non-existent lens. At one point, I even triumphantly roared 'I've got it!', only for my other half to come rushing into the bathroom and confirm - via the mirror - that the only thing I'd managed to pull away from my eye was the skin itself. D'oh! 




Luckily, the depression of landing on British shores again, complete with U.K weather (jheeez, you guys really don't do 'sunshine' huh?) won't last for long, as I'm jetting off again at the weekend... This time, to Africa! If you'd like to donate to our volunteering mission, then please let me know and I'll send you the link. 




PS. A big thanks to all those who have donated so far! 


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