26th May - Top 10: Alcoholic Drinks


Booze. Liquor. A few sherbets. The sauce. It relaxes your soul and leads to questionable decisions. But of the varying forms of poison available to us, which bevvies provide the most pleasure, whether on the sesh, or even chilling at home? Let's take a look at today's Top 10...

10. Malibu

Chastise me all you want for the feminine nature of this pick, but who doesn't love sitting on a tropical beach somewhere, with the refreshing coconut splash of a Malibu swirling gracefully through your little plastic beaker of Pepsi or Pineapple juice. Tastes like squash, but still fucks your liver. Delightful.


9. Mount Gay

When it comes to rum, I'm something of a connoisseur and though Bacardi Oakheart and Morgan's Spiced can count themselves unlucky to not make this list, they've missed out to a worthy adversary in the form of Mount Gay. Brewed in Barbados, this smooth Caribbean number is the ultimate feel-good tipple.



8. Pink Gin

I used to think I hated gin. That was, until I stopped drinking it with tonic and instead switched to lemonade. Turns out, gin is actually fantastic, but tonic tastes like dog shit on toast. I'm actually rather partial to the pink variety, in all honesty, even if it does bring back memories of brutal Creamfields prinks.


7. Camden Pale

A few years ago - like many of you - I really got into craft beers, and though that phase of my life is now easing back into mainstream normality, I still hold such a strong affinity for a smooth pint of Camden. Sibling of the ever-popular 'Camden Hells' lager, this is malty, wheaty, rich, and effortlessly easy to drink.


6. Maker's Mark

If there's one thing I know about (more than rum), it's bourbon. This Kentucky masterpiece is the best thing to come out of the Deep South since Colonel Sander's original blend of herbs and spices. Throw it in with a couple of ice cubes and sip through a bottle whilst watching a big pay-per-view boxing bout. Bliss.



5. Peroni

Crisp, refreshing, and strong enough to pack a punch, they don't make-em-like-a-mama-used-to-make anymore! A notorious Italian cornerstone of modern cultural and culinary delights, this was - until recently (more on that, shortly), the undisputed King of lagers. Still, it cements a Top 5 position with minimal fuss.


4. Grey Goose

Usually paraded around by wankers in V.I.P clubs, where girls with fake tits wheel it out to the roped-off area with sparklers blazing out the top of it. But forget that for a moment... The taste of this stuff is pure, clean, and more akin to water than a harsh blend like Smirnoff. Pair it with cranberry for a masterful mix.


3. Madri

The new kid on the block, and my oh my, what an impact it's made! Deceivingly brewed in Burton-on-Trent, this 'Spanish' lager takes all the hallmarks of fellow Med-superpower 'San Miguel' and improves them, with a real smooth finish and essentially zero dehydrated 'kick' at the back of the throat. Perfection.



2. Jack Daniels Honey 

The original is beautiful. The 'Gentleman Jack' is mesmeric. The single barrel is wizardry. And even the Apple one is lush! But JD's Honey variety is a glass-based orgasm waiting to melt in your mouth. Sweet, more-ish, and packed with that distinct Tennessee flavour, this one is perfect with a splash of Coca-Cola.


1. Strawberry Daiquiri

It had to be! The flavour of Cafe Mambo, nothing screams 'Sunset Strip' like a brightly coloured Daq! The ultimate Ibiza beverage, poured into a glass so ice-cold, it sweats down the side of the red exterior. This sweet treat conjures memories of elite meals at 'Mint Lounge', chilled house, and ravers on the rocks.









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