3rd Jan - Being a 'Karen'

The internet's a funny place... I mean that in every sense of the word. Amusing, comical, chucklesome, absurd, wacky, and waggish, and likewise... Quirky, outlandish, offbeat, bizarre, surreal, zany, and unorthodox. Perhaps, as a cunning linguist, one area of this 'verse which has always spiked my interest to peak levels is the way we coin new terms and create entire new pantheons of lexical understanding based on viral trends, memes, and so on. Phrases like 'MILF' originated from the movie-scene (I'm looking at you, American Pie), but now, the internet has become so powerful that the words we create here are overpowering any other pop culture references, and even barricading their way into the Oxford English dictionary.

Selfie, simp, bae, DM, lit, peng, boomer, YOLO, the list is endless... But perhaps one of my faves is 'Karen'. A term used to describe the stereotypical demographic of a customer who usually asks to 'speak to the manager'. A bob-style haircut, female, blonde highlights, a smart phone in one of flip-wallet case things. Yesterday, I have no shame in admitting I took great delight in 'being a Karen'. As due to a complaint I'd made against a local steakhouse on Twitter a few weeks back (I'll resist naming them for defamatory purposes), a hearty discount code landed in my inbox. I was stuck in that classic 'new year' paradox yesterday, where your house isn't exactly filled with plentiful nutritional options, other than a barrage of leftover Pringles, After Eights, and Celebrations. After a week or so of chowing down on this stuff, I'm not sure what's gonna come first... Type 2 diabetes, extreme constipation, or scurvy. Either way, I wasn't in the mood to find out and so decided to evoke my 'Karen' card, and grab myself some Cow. 

Ironically, perhaps the last Cow I'll digest in 2022. I'm not quite ready to turn vegan, mainly based on the fact you can soon tell if someone is vegan... Because they'll tell you about it within 2 minutes of meeting you. Nor can I go full vegetarian, on account of my super-human and psychopathic love of Chicken. However, I have decided to cut red meat out of my diet. As quorny as it sounds, I don't mind the vegan alternatives. And yes, I probably should have started that particular resolution on 1st January, but it was a Saturday, and as we all know, resolutions aren't allowed to start until a weekday. That's just the law. Technically, today is a bank holiday. So maybe I'll have a doner kebab tonight. 

Anyway, from opposite ends of the spectrum (one which I'm probably on, if I ever bothered to get properly diagnosed), as per the laws of balance in our world, 'being a Karen' and bringing a slice of negativity to the world means you have to do the opposite and deliver some positivity instead. Which is why I'm currently in the process of (finally) getting round to one of my long-term bucket-list goals this year. A friend of mine recently became involved with the Wood World Missions charity, helping disadvantaged children in Africa. Set up in 2000 by Bishop William Wood (Dr.), and Mercy Wood, the organisation focuses on assisting the children of Ghana with their education, teaching both academic and life lessons, and helping to build a brighter future for them. We are currently sorting the schedule and the flights to Accra later in the year, and this is something I'll have more news on as it develops. 

I'm often asked what is the first phrase I'll teach the children when I arrive, and the answer is obvious... "Can I speak to the manager?"