31st Jan - Dry Shampoo

Anyone got any dry shampers? I'm a mess. I ended up climbing into bed after the gig at about 1am (still far too late for my age thirty-something liking), and woke up at 5am to begin the commute to work. My hair was straw-like and prickly on account of the styling wax from last night, my eyes filled with morning gunk, and my breath? Like the inner corpse of a diseased pigeon. Fascinatingly, a recent study found that being awake for 17 continuous hours during one 24 hour cycle, has the same impact on the brain as being 'over the legal limit' as a drink-driver.

Luckily, I only had to 'drink-drive' my head against a rattling train carriage this morning, watching the darkness break into a beautiful sunset, though still somewhat impaired by a brutal chill and whistling wind. Being tired impacts different people in different ways, but for me it brings out all my weirdest traits. As something of an extrovert, I'm usually not shy in the conversational department, but my sleepy state transforms me towards something resembling the first ape in the 'theory of evolution' chart, only capable of short sharp grunts. 

Then, there's the hunger. This is a natural phenomenon caused by your 'olfactory system', an inner-working of the body which goes into hyperdrive when sleep-deprived, sharpening your sense of odors in the brain. I've never been a huge breakfast fan, even less so when tired. That nausea from realising you're awake is far too potent to combat even the most greasy smell of a sausage and egg McMuffin. But a few hours later, a 'brunch craving' kicks in, and usually for carb-rich comfort foods. Bread, pasta, anything stodgy and satisfying. 

Penultimately, there's the sex drive. I'm fully aware my in-laws might be reading this so I'll hesitate on delving into sordid detail, but essentially, it fully rockets (no pun intended) when in a sleepy state and becomes my number #1 priority, ahead of sleep itself. It's usually all I can think of all day. I'll be starting work shortly so I'd better wrap this up. My first plan of action when arriving, is to head straight to the bathroom for a 'work makeover'. I'm talking a good splash of cold sink water all over the face, an army of chewing gums into the molars, a decent spray of some expensive-smelling aftershave, and a quick switch out of my sliders into socks and shoes. Now then... there's only one more thing I need...

... Has anyone got any dry shampoo?