27th Jan - Gratitude

I took a moment this morning, whilst knee-deep in my commute to work, to take the time to issue a message of gratitude to several friends. All independently typed messages, to those who I felt I needed to show an element of gratitude towards. Not for any particular reason other than knowing them, or having them in my life. For some of them, I'm sure being awoken by such a message was a fearful and peculiar moment, imagining myself in some kind of quarter/mid-life crisis (is a 33.3% recurring crisis a thing?), but I've long stopped caring on the opinions of others. My life - and personality - these days is a (metaphorical) screenshot, plain and simple. Here's the image of everything I encapsulate, this is me, feel free to keep it and embrace it, or delete it. No hard feelings either way.

My reasoning for this was partly inspired by 'Tim', the biography of Avicii's career, written by Swedish journalist, Mans Mosesson. I saw that the author of the book had referenced me in the bibliography and that really meant something to me. The majority of you reading this will know of the depth surrounding my relationship towards Tim. Others won't. But from a young age, some years before he was catapulted into primetime consciousness, Tim's productions spoke to me in a way I could never relate to anything before, or since. Through manifestation or 'the law of attraction' - or however else you'd care to explain it - my career led me towards him. To phone calls, to a greater understanding of the human, as well as the 'product'. His death in 2018 wasn't a bog standard case of an upset fan losing a hero, it was the eternal closing of a chapter to me. His music had somehow always found a way to naturally soundtrack all the biggest moments in my life leading up to that moment. 

I used his death as both a warning and an inspiration. A 28 year-old man at the summit of the world, a humble Stockholm-born boy at the peak of his popularity, loved by millions, and yet, that was it. Every penny he'd earned could no longer be spent, every memory he'd made was now burnt to ash in his physical being. I knew I needed to show a greater appreciation for life. Tomorrow isn't promised, and that hit me hard. I learned to try finding positives in even the most mundane of opportunities. Wake up on a Monday? Depressed about interrupting your cosy slumber, clambering out of bed and embarking on 'the grind'? No way, man. Monday is the best day of the week. A chance to do all the things you want to, a clean slate and an opportunity to showcase yourself over the course of the next 7 days. Look outside the window and marvel at the sky or the trees, step outside your door and breathe in the fresh air. 

Perhaps I sound like a hippy, but perhaps I also don't give a fuck. If you can't appreciate life for what it is, and you aren't capable of displaying gratitude towards your surroundings, then how do you ever expect to enjoy it? And let's be honest... That's all it's about. You've got to enjoy it, because the one common goal we all strive for, is happiness. It's not a Lamborghini. Or a six-pack. Or a 12-bed mansion in the middle of Hollywood. It's that warm, content feeling in your stomach when you feed the ducks, or the homeless. It's about being grateful... 

... My current mood? Is gratitude.