11th December - Why Southgate's Time Is (Reluctantly) Up...

It can be really hard, sometimes, to be English. So many nations close to us have this huge inferiority complex of their mighty older Brother, and after last night's result, I've seen Irish fans cheering in pubs when Harry Kane's penalty flew over the bar. I've seen Scottish folk in bars dancing on tables. (Neither of these countries were even close to qualifying for the tournament, by the way). And one of my best friends, a typically patriotic Welshman was posting 'Viva La France' Instagram stories all night, despite his own side embarrassingly succumbing to the shit-spoon award, of cementing their spot as the tournament's worst team via a woeful defeat to Iran, and absolute thrashing at the hands of our very own Three Lions. It can be tough to 'hear the dragon roar' after 1 point and 0 victories in 3 games. It sounds more like a whimper, to me. 

There can be no doubting that England were the best side at this year's World Cup. From back to front, our team looked strong throughout, and we dominated the World Champions yesterday in an incredibly one-sided contest where we were also battling one of the most blatantly corrupt referees in footballing history. Should France's first goal have stood, for the foul on Saka? Absolutely not. Should we have had another penalty in the first half when Upamecano tripped Kane? 100%. In addition to this, there were countless errors from Wilton Sampaio, who seemed to have a real allergy towards giving any sort of foul in England's favour (especially on Saka), or booking/sending off Griezmann, who - by my count - committed at least 7 fouls during the match. Despite this, we won't look at using the ref as an excuse. 

After all, we're English. We're used to this. When have we ever exited a tournament in anything other than controversy? From the spot-kick heartbreak of 1990, 1996, 1998, 2004, 2006, 2012 and 2021, to Maradona's 'hand of God' in '86, those wrongly disallowed Sol Campbell winners in '98 and '04, or Lampard's chip over Neuer in 2010 (the catalyst for the introduction of VAR). We know that referees despise us, we know that the World despises us. The jealousy towards our great nation is real, and we experience it any time we hear a shout of 'Fuck the English'. But instead, we must look at ourselves first and foremost. I'm fully aware that you'll all be quick to inform me of how Gareth Southgate is England's most successful manager since Sir Alf Ramsey in 1966. But how can we use that word 'success' when the only true meaning of being successful, is to win something? By that logic, Tim Henman was the most successful English tennis player since Fred Perry.

We're not Wales, or Qatar, or Canada. We can't stay content with being a tinpot nation who are only happy to qualify for tournaments, but then get battered everywhere we go. We created the game of Football, ffs, and gave it to the World, we demand more. Gareth Southgate has restored pride, honour, and integrity to this England squad. Gone are the egos, and we now see a cohesive and happy team unit, filled with great spirit. To many, a Semi, a Final, and a Quarter, in the space of 4.5 years, is great progress as a nation. But each and every time Southgate has come up against a 'major' nation, and/or one ranked higher than England, he has failed. Whether that was Belgium (x2) and Croatia in 2018, even Netherlands in the 2019 Nations League Semi-Final, and especially Italy at the Euros, or France in this World Cup, Gareth finds himself tactically paralysed in the biggest of moments. At 1-1, the match was in our favour yesterday, momentum had truly swung into our hands, and all elite manager would sense this and push for the winner. Instead, with James Maddison on his bench (who didn't even get a single minute on the pitch during this tournament), and Trent Alexander-Arnold waiting to swing in those dangerous crosses down the right flank against - the quite frankly awful - Theo Hernandez, Southgate introduced Mason Mount. A player who, it is universally agreed upon football fans in the know, doesn't really do anything, and only averages 1 goal involvement every 7 games for club & country. 

This shift to a defensive mindset allowed France back into the game as they piled more pressure on us again and the tide was turned, as they instantly capitalised through Giroud's winner. Jordan Henderson looked knackered by the hour mark, but was left on the field. Bukayo Saka, who had the game of his life and was influencing all our play, was subbed off. Callum Wilson didn't get a kick, even when we needed a goal, whilst Sterling - who had not even played the past 2 games - came on in favour of our top goalscorer in this tournament, Marcus Rashford, whilst Jack Grealish was given little more than 60 seconds of injury time to make an impact. When England were given that dangerous free-kick in 'Beckham territory' with the final kick of the game, our two best set-piece takers (Trippier and Ward-Prowse) were left on the bench, and at home, respectively. Gareth Southgate is a wonderful man. A safe choice as a husband. Solid, dependable, loving, and respectful. But 'nice guys finish last', and his list of 'victims' in tournaments is a paltry list which contains the likes of Tunisia, Panama, Colombia (on penalties), Sweden, Czech Republic, Ukraine, Denmark (after Extra-Time), Iran, Wales, and Senegal. To become a 'winner', you must adopt a winner's mindset. For those in favour of Southgate, truly ask yourself deep down if you can ever see him lifting the Jules Rimet above his head. As an Arsenal fan who clamoured for the exit of perennial underachiever Arsene Wenger for the best part of a decade through 4th, 5th, and 6th placed finishes, and is now reaping the reward of a title charge under Mikel Arteta, I implore England to do the same...

Gareth, thanks for the memories. But it's time to say goodbye.