3rd November - Am I an OAPaedo?

It becomes more and more apparent to me, in my infinite wisdom and rapidly increasing years, that I've truly started the decline into old age. "How?" I hear you ask. Well, my idea of a perfect evening now consists of a hot bath, a flickering cinnamon, clove, & mandarin scented candle, and the gentle fizz of a fragrant LUSH bath bomb. But there are also, smaller, more subtle hints... I recently declared my goal for future as owning a big leather arm chair, similar to those in the Caesar's Palace Sportsbook. Now, with Christmas approaching, I found myself eyeing up the M&S website (my growing affinity to this brand is, in itself, a warning trigger of my impending aged state)... To look at SLIPPERS.

Yes, that's right, those things that only the over-50s wear. Mums, especially, will tend to throw these on with a comfy dressing gown (a purchase I succumbed to in 2019), and trot around the house in them, but I'd always wondered why. They're sort of shoes, but for indoors. Isn't that a bit odd? I personally love to have the feel of cool kitchen flooring underfoot on my bare skin, but due to my phobia of socks (covered in a previous blog), I tend to let my gigantic size 13s resemble icicle status in this Winter of discontent as we refuse to switch the heating on due to the government's excessive greed. Now, the solution may have finally presented itself. 

A soft pair of suede moccasins with FreshFeet technology, or perhaps even a Fleece Lined Muels. The textures of these would suit my inner autism perfectly, whilst also keeping my Nkwankwo Kanu-sized plates of meat cosy for the forthcoming Stalingrad-esque blizzards. I can't necessarily say I've always been a 'good' boy this year, but when Santa does eventually come down my chimney (steady!), I hope he'll be bringing a pair of these fanny repellents with him. Along with a dawning realisation, that I have slowly, and steadily...

... Become an OAPaedo.