16th August - Thoughts on America...

Of the 5 destinations we visited whilst in the U.S, I would probably rank Las Vegas at the top. My opinions on this pleasure-dome of a City have certainly changed since 2016, my last visit to Sin City, when I found the unbearable 46 celsius heat a huge factor in my overall enjoyment of the ‘Vegas’ experience. Back then, we attended a 3-day festival set on a speedway circuit, and though I was much more of an extrovert at the time, I found it to be a bit of a sensory overload in all honesty. Brutally intense, like much of Vegas is, but it really felt like we were there for EDC, and not there ‘for Vegas’, if that makes sense? We’d get in at 6am daily, sleep until around 4pm, then wake, pre-drink, eat, and set off again at 7pm for the festival - which ran through the night. This time, older and wiser, we stuck to the air conditioned safety of the hotels and casinos when venturing up and down the strip, and had a real good peruse of every nook and cranny of these venues. We ditched off the sexist nature of the stiff ‘V.I.P’ clubs where men are charged double the cost of women for entry, and are asked to suit up in formal trousers, shoes, and blazers, securing $2,000 tables with a bottle of GreyGoose plonked in the middle of them, and instead opted for the care-free nature of the pool party, splashing wannabe influencers who would sit on the edge of the pool, and pout moodily throughout, tutting at us when we got their hair wet. It was fucking brilliant, and I couldn’t get enough of this ‘Disneyland for Adults’ destination. I can only imagine the insane fun which could be had there with a bigger budget.

In second place would be another City I’ve visited before… New York. There is absolutely zero chance of ever being bored in ‘The Big Apple’, such is the fine array of tourism available to photo-seeking opportunists like ourselves, and I’m eternally grateful that we also managed to tick off all the remaining items on my ‘NYC bucket list’, such as the Brooklyn Bridge, which I didn’t get a chance to visit back in 2018. Taking the bronze on this podium is most definitely San Francisco, an incredible breezy destination filled with the magic of both a real rural U.K style seaside resort, and then the incredible London-type skyline of the downtown area too. Whether it’s the Fisherman’s Wharf and Alcatraz island, trams and steep rolling hills, or Golden Gate Bridge, San Fran is one of a kind, and the bohemian spirit - spurred on by a large LGBTQ community, and legalisation of marijuana - fills the air. 

At the tail end of our destination list, comes Los Angeles, which was - in all honesty, a huge disappointment. Whilst mainstream media paints a picture of this ‘golden state’ and cool, influencer types sipping even colder cans of soda pop with a straw and pair of aviators, the reality is that of a rough, dirty, and dingy area, filled to the masses with a widespread homelessness epidemic. Huge swathes of stench-soaked African Americans fill every street corner, wandering round in torn blankets, with teeth missing and gurgling their own crystal-meth induced gibberishness across the Subway. Beverly Hills is beautiful, Hollywood is decadent, and the Universal Resort is a must for movie-fans, but overall the polarisation between the rich/poor divide is too large in L.A, a city filled with the inescapable reek of stale piss. Having said that, it still finishes above Philadelphia, which is cleaner, and safer, but just incredibly bland and boring. If it wasn’t for the famous ‘Rocky’ steps and statue, and the rich glory of those famous oozing Philly cheesesteaks, then this City would have quite literally nothing to offer...

... Except for a constantly non-offensive sea of beige and grey, filled with a moderate cool air.