8th May - Don't shit on the bed



I've woken up feeling pretty joyful today. I'm aware that in two short weeks, I'll be in the Caribbean, and that's certainly fuelling my drive over this next fortnight. I'm also buoyed by another fantastic footballing Saturday where Man United were battered by 4 at Brighton, Chelsea dropped points (again), and most importantly of all, Liverpool's late equaliser means St. Totteringham's Day is once again in touching distance. Of course, this is all depends on Arsenal sticking to their end of the bargain and smashing 'Dirty' Leeds today to set up a rather bum-tickling Thursday night showdown at the toilet bowl.

Talking of the (Pirates of the) Caribbean, I - like most of you - have been viewing the odd snippet of the Johnny Depp trial on TikTok, and it's fair to say that Amber Heard is quite clearly one of the most mentally unhinged human beings of all time. From 'slyly' bumping a line of coke mid-trial, to the awful OTT acting which was soon uncovered, or her 'intimidated' stance. The fact she's smeared his reputation in such a way is beyond disgusting (much like her defecation on the bed routine), and the only place she belongs post-trial, is in a padded cell, until she's mentally healthy.




The plan, for today, is to churn through my workload and aim to really hit everything with full force in the next few weeks so that when the time comes, I'm able to fully switch off and not worry about a thing. With that in mind, I'm keeping today's diary entry short so that I can begin ploughing through the 'to-do' list. One thing that's certainly powering such productivity is the new mattress which was delivered on Friday. Due to an admin error within Hypnos, they'd originally sent a double mattress (for a king-sized bed-frame), so the past 2/3 weeks have been spent sleeping on a bit of a mis-match, but now, everything fits snugly. I'll just keep my fingers crossed, at this point...






... That Amber Heard doesn't turn up, and take a shit on it. 



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