1st May - You are what they say you are

Each and every one of us reading this will have been called name(s) at some point, which have hurt us, or resonated deeply. Whether some form of mocking over hair colour, weight, religion, educational ability, or so on, there's sadly an inherent trait within the human species where many thrive over the potential thought of bringing somebody else down. Except, there's a clear and unique workaround to pain in this scenario. One which was only highlighted to me this morning, by a podcast with Terry Crews, whilst flying a mile-high over Europe. 

Terry told the story of how, when younger, he faced the usual chants of "N*gger" from ignorant folk in his school playground. As he grew older, the feeling among the black community, and those around where he grew up was that if you were called this, especially by a white person, the immediate reaction was that you were entitled to knock them out. Not just a punch, but a full clean unconscious KO. Terry grew strong because of this, exercising and working hard in the gym so that he'd have the appropriate 'pow' in his punch when the time came to next respond to these racial slurs.

However, over time, Terry learned to evolve his mental state rather than just his physical state. He realised that a 'N*gger' doesn't exist. The word itself was a derogatory term invented by the Caucasian community many hundreds of years ago to keep black folk 'beneath' them in the social hierarchy, and to lead them to feelings of guilt, shame, and worthlessness over the colour of their skin. But a 'N*gger', simply does not exist. It's a figment of white-skinned, racist, imagination. With this in mind, he told himself, "I'm not a N*gger", and so he could no longer feel offended by accepting that he was the opposite of what somebody thought he was. 

The further example he gave was of Bill Gates. If a bully labelled Bill 'skint', or 'broke', do you think he'd feel offended? Of course not, because Gates is fully aware that he's quite the opposite of such a term, and would likely just drive off in his helicopter, chuckling to himself. The moment you feel offended by what somebody labels you, you are also accepting their slur as your truth. You are whatever they say you are, so from now on...

... Only surround yourself with people who build you up.