26th Mar - The importance of saying 'No'

Yeah, that should be fine.

Erm, yeah, can do. 

I think, that shouldn't be a problem, yeah. 

I don't mind really. 

It's up to you. 

These types of phrases are heard almost everyday of our lives, but there's a subtext to them. A subtext which usually screams 'I don't want to do this, but I'm going to, to make my life easy'. I'm one of the worst offenders for it. I take on job after job after job, I people please, and portray myself as a graceful swan glimmering across the surface, with everything under control, when the truth is... Much like a swan, I'm peddling like mad beneath the water, just to stay afloat. Riddled with stress, and anxiety at my now jam-packed workload with no sign of ease on the horizon. 

Often this is a case of public perception, or professional reputation. We think that saying 'no' can make us look weak, or lazy, or incompetent. Sometimes we might be afraid to hurt somebody's feelings or afraid to change the dynamic in a room, or in a relationship. If, for example, my partner asks if I want to watch Love Island, and I reply, "I perceive myself as being intellectually superior to such shows, and the low-level of IQ displayed on screen both frustrates and offends me. I also don't enjoy spending my precious free time looking into the fakery and weak acting abilities of a group of shallow, self-obsessed, vain, shallow, emotionally immature, consumerist money-grabbers desperate for 5 minutes of fame before heading back to a 'career' of suckling sausage on OnlyFans", then such a comment might cause offence.

Because the translation of such a comment is, "I don't enjoy this thing, which you find enjoyable". But at the same time, more often or not, you may be keen just to spend time with somebody, no matter what is placed on the screen in front of you, and so you answer, "Sure". It's give and take, and in this instance, I don't mind sitting through an hour of trout-pouts and and steroid-drenched torsos, on the basis that my partner may grow bemused at how I can expend so much passion and energy into 30 men chasing an egg-shaped ball around a muddy field, or how two men can knock seven shades of shillings out of one another at 5am in Las Vegas, and this somehow constitutes a £20 box-office payment, and equally expensive bottle of bourbon. 

Life is about balance. When your employer asks you to do something, you answer yes. Because you're being paid to provide a service. But when this becomes too much, or you feel overwhelmed, there's equally no harm in airing your feelings. Now, more than ever, we live in a world where describing how you feel is of paramount importance to anything else. Likewise, a friend might invite you to a social gathering which you're not feeling. Staying silent is toxic behaviour, whereas saying 'no' is mature, sensible, and above all, responsible. In 2022, please, I implore you all...

... To learn the importance of, sometimes at least, saying 'No'.