24th Feb - War! What is it good for?



War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Not my words, but those of Edwin Starr with his 1970 classic. However, the view is a sentiment echoed by many as we awake this morning to ugly scenes on the Ukraine/Russia borders. Suitably, the internet has reacted with the same inner-selfishness we've come to expect from this generation as Millennials and Gen Zs Tweets-a-plenty about how 'two years of lockdown followed by a war' help them to arrive at the conclusion that nobody has ever had it this hard in their 20s, blissfully ignoring the events of 1939-1945.

"I was finaaaallly looking forward to going on holiday!" says unnamed TikToker264, or Instagram influencer671, fumbling the words out through an over-inflated trout pout, whilst forgetting that international travel has been possible throughout this pandemic. I've personally flown to numerous countries in both 2020, and 2021, it's really quite simple. You turn up at an airport and get on a plane. Meanwhile, the West has started to impose strict sanctions on Russia, stripping them of hosting the Champions League Final in St Petersburg this year, and moving it to the ever-safe and never-terrorised City of Paris instead. That'll teach 'em.




There's also been a certain amount of media surprise over the Kremlin's behaviour through this invasion. Whilst many feared Putin's oedipus complex regarding 'Mother Russia' could eventually lead to catastrophic consequences, it would appear many journalists felt a 'boy who cried wolfski' situation was in-play here, doubting the line between 'talker' and 'porker'. Putin has, sadly, porked, and Russia - who had previously denounced both homosexuals and the black/mixed-race community, whilst also rebranding themselves as 'ROC' at Olympic events due to continued rule-breaking over drugs and doping policies - are bizarrely concerned that they're now being portrayed as 'the baddies' to the Western World. 

With hearts colder than the Moscow snow, the Red army continue to march relentlessly towards Kiev, bringing about 'Putingrad', but why is all this happening? In short, money. Much like every war, the battle has born itself through greed. Putin is in desire of more territory, openly criticising Ukraine's chummy nature with the West and their ever-expanding Eastern border into Russia, fearing that a team-up between NATO and the Ukrainians could leave his country as the 'last picked' on the school football field. Meanwhile, despite not possessing NATO status, Ukraine receives the backing of Boris and so on, on account of trade partnerships (such as oil) between the two countries. As Kanye once said, 'The people highest up for the lowest self-esteem, the prettiest people do the ugliest things'. If there's one thing, the greatest cold-war movie ever made, Rocky IV, taught us, it's that "If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change", though upon viewing the video below...




... In Putin's case, that might not be true.

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